05-20-04 @ 4:30 p.m.

i've been steady at 140/139 for about a week now. but suddenly a wave hit me and i felt like devouring everything in the entire house. i don't understand why this is happening but it's fucking freaking me out. maybe cos i've been going on the trampoline every day now for aprox. 15 minutes each day which would speed up my metabolism but fuck i need to get down to 135 by the end of this weekend or next week. but this hunger...it's SO strong, i can't deal with it!!! i'm gonna go out on the trampoline now for awhile which hopefully will burn a few calories but i've realized that if i can get to a certain weight i can usually stay at it. so just imagine when i get down to 130! lord, that will be the day.

well, i fucking screwed up today...
breakfast: 1/2 french toast/syrup, lunch: 1 wrap w/hummus/lettuce/carrots/tomatoes, plus i just fucking ate hummus and crackers, another 1/2 a wrap w/tomato sauce and cheese (!!), a piece of toast w/butter, and a bunch of pretzel goldfish. oh my god i'm fucking doomed!! i have to stop this somehow.

downstream | upstream